So it's 333am..

And I gave up on finishing my final tonight about an hour ago. I'm almost done. It just sucks because I also have a term paper to start and finish in about 3 days now. Which again, isn't bad because I know myself. I'll be starting it the night before it is due anyway. Not because I want to though... it's just what I do. I hate that I procrastinate. I try very hard to stop myself but I just seem to come up with new ways to productively procrastinate. I learned this past semester that this behavior is called self-handicapping. That it generally happens when it's a project that you care about, you don't want to do poorly but you are so anxious about doing poorly that you put it off. If you do well, it reenforces the behavior, and if you don't... well you could have done better if you had more time. There are also some elements of self-fulfilling prophecies at work too. I wonder how much of life is affected by self-fulfilling prophecies? Probably more than we think...

Oh, also... the other night I dreamt a friend of mine was getting married. It was mildly upsetting. It's interesting how my course work infiltrates my dreams. This winter course is all about intimate relationships, so every dream I've had lately has pulled forth memories of every intimate relationship I've had. This one makes me sad though, we are rather distant now. Rightfully so, staying close would have been toxic. I miss him. He was a very important factor in my life, a brilliant friend. A bright spot.